It's T-minus 20 days until my 26th year. Is it just me or do the numbers just get uglier and uglier the older you get? 21 is of course a milestone. 22 is ok- I like to call it the "dos dos" birthday. 25 is a nice number, but 26?
I had a revelation the other day that I'm on my way to being in my 'late-20's' and I don't really like the feeling. I guess it's because I had a vision of how my life would be once I reached the age of 25+. In some ways I'm where I thought I'd be, in others I'm clearly not, and then surprisingly in some I'm way beyond where I expected to see myself.
I'm in no way upset of where I am in my life; I have an amazing life and am truly blessed with all the people in it. I guess I'm more concerned of the stereotype or expectations that come with being a certain age. I've always been told I'm mature for my age, but I know I still have those moments of acting like... well not an adult. And in all honesty, I feel like as the number gets bigger, the weight on my shoulders gets heavier as the responsibilities continue to pile on.
So, as the days continue to count down to my impending 26th year, I ask myself, "What do I want from myself this year?," - not what I think others will expect of me, or what I've convinced myself is the proper place to be at this age.
The other day I spent some time on a playground swinging on the swings- something I haven't done in probably 10 years. And I felt free. I felt no weight on my shoulders, only the wind through my hair as I pumped my legs back and forth taking myself higher and higher. And I just sat and laughed, and smiled and let the swings take me away to this place of childhood joy.
It's the lil things that sometimes you don't even expect that can bring smiles and laughter into your life. And I want more of those moments. I want to be silly and goofy and yes, maybe even a lil crazy (in a good way). I guess this is a revelation to me even though I'm no stranger to the term, "YOLO." I want to celebrate my 26th year with more me- more free, unreserved and spontaneous me. I want to do things that bring smiles to my face in the most unexpected ways and I want the joy I find to be infectious to others around me.
I guess you can say that in 20 days, it will be the launch of carefree Madalyn Marie 2 .6